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One night in Honolulu Russ said we had to see the night life.
He took us down Kapiolani Avenue towards Waikiki and into an innocuous looking bar called the Stop Lite. It was no luxury place. It had dim lighting, plain tables and chairs, some booths on the far side of the room and a small stage in the opposite corner. The stage was shoulder height with people sitting beside it.
We bought a bottle of beer each for $2.50 - not an unusual price - and watched a young Asian girl on stage. She had a lovely slim firm figure. Her shoulders rested on the floor of the stage and her legs and body were supported upside down on a pillar at the back. She was naked. She had a wooden flute between her legs and she was playing "Dixie". It was an amazing spectacle of muscular control.
She capped the performance by playing the "Blue Danube" waltz, a more suitable tune in that it has more pauses and gave her time to gather her wind, so to speak. Then she mounted a glass-bottomed swing and propelled herself over the heads of the audience. They craned their necks, swaying backwards and forwards, to glimpse the tantalizing view above them.
Russ kept repeating in bemused wonderment, as if he'd never been there before, "Just think, everything we're watching is illegal, totally illegal."
The next young lady was 32 but looked 18, very pretty with that marvelous Asian slim figure but very European full well-shaped breasts. They were capped with nipples that jutted out so far we could see them from the back of the bar. One had retreated inwards under the pressure of her bra which she had just removed. But with a judicious tweak of her fingers, out it popped again.
Russ, our local expert, told us the breasts were silicone but the nipples were real. He also said she had originated the cigar-smoking trick in Honolulu some ten years before, and she now proceeded to show it to us.
But first she delicately disrobed (not that she had much to remove), sat on the edge of the stage (with all of the ringside seaters agog) and wrapped her legs around the head and neck of the Hawaiian closest.
At first he was stunned with pleasure, then raised both of his arms high, waggled his hands and fingers, and let out a tremendous yodel.
There was a good-hearted party atmosphere in the place. It was as if a group of friends had got together and some of the girls had decided to show them their latest tricks.
It was time for the famous cigar act. She carefully unwrapped the cellophane from around the cigar, placed it between her thighs ... and lit it. She not only smoked it but blew a series of smoke rings.
When she took it out she offered the cigar to those lucky ringsiders. Despite an eager rush, only one was granted a privileged puff.
For her next trick she collected quarters from the audience and piled them in a column on the neck of a bottle. There were 52 in all - $13 worth. She stood astride the bottle and slowly lowered herself down onto the pile of coins. Then she sucked up the lot. She left the bottle behind, though, that may have been a bit too much.
That wasn't the real trick. The best bit was yet to come. She released them, one by one, counting them out as they fell onto the stage floor.
She came to 51. Was that all? Had one disappeared?
No - with an extra effort, out popped the missing coin.
She had one more act to amaze the mind and delight the senses. She chose a volunteer from the audience and laid him down on his back along the front of the stage. She placed a dollar note - one of his of course - lengthways down his face on his forehead and nose. She stood astride his head looking down towards his feet. She then slowly lowered herself and plucked the note from his face using those wonderfully trained muscles of hers.
Half a dozen customers followed. If she spotted any activity down by their fly she reached out and gave it a smart tap to remind them this was strictly show business. Naturally it happened every time, and naturally the crowd was delighted every time.
It didn't happen to me, though. She'd finished her act before it was my turn.
The Stop Lite